Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide…

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was…

Homer walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde, who was staring up at the television. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on…

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. -Mark Twain…

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this…

Watch for these consolidations in 2018. 1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:…

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune…

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container…

The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest! A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. Lottery: A tax on people who…

Welcome to Bawstin (Boston) For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline. I hope you will consider coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those who call New England home, this is…

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. One of…

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always…