Humor Me

Robbers vs Lawyers
Aug 26, 2025

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We…

Hypnotism at the Senior Center
Aug 25, 2025

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: 'I'm here to put you all into a trance I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience.' The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew…

Aug 24, 2025

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth. She was…

Aug 23, 2025

One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh!…

Aug 11, 2025

Can You Figure These Out? 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full…

Aug 9, 2025

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognize the house when you get home…

Aug 8, 2025

To whom it may concern, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his depositing the check and the…

Aug 4, 2025

3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Howard is His name. Amen." A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like…

Aug 3, 2025

Dear Dogs & Cats: The food dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not…

Aug 2, 2025

A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure,...…

Jul 31, 2025

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet…

Jul 28, 2025

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"…