Everyone has a photographic memory. Not everyone has film. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. Seen it all, done…

A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife. She rushed in and said, "What is it, honey?" He told her to run and get the bible as soon as possible. Being a religious…

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are…

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the…

A blonde sits down in a bar next to a redhead. Both of them are having several good laughs when the news comes on the TV. The woman reporter shouts out 'This just in! A man is at the edge…

*"Aim Towards The Enemy." -Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher * "When the Pin is Pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our Friend." -US Marine Corps * "Cluster Bombing From B-52s is Very, Very Accurate. The Bombs are Guaranteed to always…

Three blondes were sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A game warden came up behind them, tapped one on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see…

A blonde, a brunnette and a redhead all tried out for the same job as road stripers. The boss told them they would all work for three days and whoever painted the most would get the job. At the end…

A secretary, a paralegal and a partner in a city law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff…

"Now, what we're doing, I want to be clear, we're not trying to push financial reform because we begrudge success that's fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you've made enough money." - referring to Wall…

One winter morning a husband and wife in Smalltown, Iowa were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park our car on…

I love animals, they taste great. EARTH FIRST! We'll strip mine the other planets later. The gene pool could use a little chlorine. Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. He who laughs last thinks slowest!…