It was fun being a baby boomer ... until now. Some of the vocal artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include: 1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a…

God Said, Adam I Want you to do something for me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then…

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My dear child, why are you crying?" The seamstress replied that her…

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The Monks…

Bob walks into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 pm news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of…

I made myself a snowman,as perfect as could be, I thought I'd keep it for a pet,and let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas,and a pillow for it's head. Then last night it ran away,but first it…

Why are Vampires Democrats? They wanted Gore in 2000. Why aren't there any famous skeletons? They're a bunch of no bodies. Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating? Women can see right through them.

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out…

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER…

I have a Golden retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no,…

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and…

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy!" Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins…