One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of…

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. 2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. 3) A Tire is Male, because…

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began…

When you are in deep trouble, say nothing. . . and try to look like you know what you're doing.

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage…

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened. Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body is a 72 Year Old Frenchman. He…

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He noted how hurricanes at one time were given only female names, and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she."…