An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders around, seeing the sights, and occasionally stopping at a quaint pub to soak up the local culture, chat with the…

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the…

After a flight, pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet." The mechanics correct the problems and document the repairs before the next flight. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions…

* If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping it will swim by, you PROBABLY live in New England. * If you're proud that your…

A man walks into a restaurant with a full grown ostrich in tow. As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for the order. He says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a Coke," and the ostrich chimes in…

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven year old…

I was having trouble with my computer, so I called the computer guy . He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was…

The following is an actual question given on a chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues. Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most…

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels ...."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter! March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4…

Two bowling teams, one all blondes and one all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The brunette team rode on the bottom of the bus, and the blonde team rode on…

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow "He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." ---Stephen Bishop…

As a result of the shooting incident in South Texas when a lawyer was shot by the Vice President, a new set of Hunting Regulations Regarding the Taking and Harvesting of Attorneys will be enforced by the Texas Parks &…