One day the old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh!…

Can You Figure These Out? 1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full…

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognize the house when you get home…

To whom it may concern, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his depositing the check and the…

3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Howard is His name. Amen." A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like…

Dear Dogs & Cats: The food dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not…

A little boy was waiting on his mother to come out of a store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?" The little boy replied, "Sure,...…

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, but this week I got a call from the contractor, complaining his work had been completed a year ago and I had yet…

Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the restroom, I stop at a rest area and head to the restroom. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: "Hi, how are you?"…

The rules of rural Michigan are as follows: (Listen up city slickers!!!!) 1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot. 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked. 3. Lets get this straight; its called a…

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." -- Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. --…

Bubba went to a psychiatrist. " I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink.…