I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.…

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted. "My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Adam," replied the second. "My daddy is a doctor. What does…

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling…

* Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries. * Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin his salt, that…

Three nuns were at a Red Sox baseball game. Three men were sitting directly behind them. The men, annoyed because the nuns habits were partially blocking their view, decided to badger the nuns in hopes that they would become annoyed…

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty…

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is…

A man owned a small ranch in Montana. The Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help. They sent an agent out to interview & investigate the accusations. Upon arrival at the ranch agents…

A 6 year-old and a 4 year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 6 year old. 'I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year…

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried…

A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph and enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great,"…

*Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me" "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going…