Job Application

Job app filled out by 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart. Name: George Martin; Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman; Desired Position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.; Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.; Last Position Held: Target for middle management hostility.; Previous Salary: A lot less than I'm worth.; Reason for Leaving: It sucked.; Hours Available for Work: Any.; Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday & Thursday.; May We Contact Your Curent Employer?: If I had one, would I be here?; Do You Have a Car?: I think the more appropriate question here would be, "Do you have a car that runs?"; Have You Received Any Special Awards or Recognition?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.; Sign Here: Sagittarius