1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300k and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked to see two people carrying on a conversation in English.…

Bill Gates died and found himself in purgatory being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by…

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites. FREE PUPPIES: ½ Cocker Spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog. FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also…

Job app filled out by 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart. Name: George Martin; Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman; Desired Position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I…

Recently, I was diagnosed with AAADD - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide…

Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found the perfect dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was…

Homer walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde, who was staring up at the television. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on…

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." Mark Twain Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.... But then I repeat myself. -Mark Twain…

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this…

Watch for these consolidations in 2018. 1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace. 2.) Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become:…

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune…

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container…