Humor Me

May 1, 2022

1. Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonalds. 2. Avoidable: What a bullfighter tried to do. 3. Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage. 4. Burglarize: What a crook sees with. 5. Control: A short, ugly inmate.…

Apr 30, 2022

1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave…

Apr 30, 2022

The transcription of a radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, Ireland, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations. IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to…

Apr 28, 2022

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an…

Apr 27, 2022

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's…

Jan 26, 2022

Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep & cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long…

May 6, 2021

Do just one brave thing today..... ......Then run like the dickens.

May 6, 2021

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible. 2. You make over $300k and still can't afford a house. 3. You take a bus and are shocked to see two people carrying on a conversation in English.…

May 5, 2021

Bill Gates died and found himself in purgatory being sized up by St. Peter. "Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by…

May 5, 2021

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites. FREE PUPPIES: ½ Cocker Spaniel, ½ sneaky neighbor's dog. FREE PUPPIES... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog. FREE GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.. Also…

May 5, 2021

Job app filled out by 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart. Name: George Martin; Sex: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman; Desired Position: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I…