Humor Me

Jun 30, 2025

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he…

Jun 29, 2025

I dialed a number and got the following recording: 'I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I…

Jun 24, 2025

I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I go to see John. Then Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here he takes a…

Jun 19, 2025

One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh!…

Jun 16, 2025

The attached letter was sent to a bank by a 96 year-old woman. To whom it may concern, I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my…

Jun 15, 2025

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of beer. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes…

Jun 14, 2025

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed? Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your…

Jun 11, 2025

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" The mother replied, "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."…

Jun 9, 2025

1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works. 4. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 5. Always…

Jun 8, 2025

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be…

Jun 6, 2025

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter. 10 men and 1 woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one had to leave, because otherwise they were all going to…

Jun 4, 2025

Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church. "When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began. "You mean the parking lot,"…